Betrayal - Matthew 26

I am a fantastic father. Right up until the moment when I’m not. I am a picture perfect husband, except when I’m not. I am totally sold out and all about that “gentle parenting” life - until it doesn’t work, and then the real JJ comes out. I’m not really sure what that’s about - I have mountains of patience for other frustrating people in my life. People from the church can come vent at me for hours and I can remain calm. I can deal with angry drivers or aggressive neighbors - no problem keeping it together. But for some reason if my 3 year old is acting like a 3 year old and taking a hundred years to get his jammies on and goofing off instead of brushing teeth - I turn into my very own version of the incredible hulk. Dad, why are you yelling? Because it didn’t work, when I said it nicely the first five times! Maybe you’re like me - and anger rears its head most often in parenting situations. Or maybe it’s with your spouse. You’ve got lots of patience for the kids, but when your husband leaves his socks on the living room floor, AGAIN and you just want to wring his neck. Or your wife leaves a mess in the garage that you have to clean up AGAIN. Or maybe it’s at work - you’ve got a boss or co-worker, or irritating client - and they aggravate you so much, your stress ball gets a real work out every time you have to deal with them. Keep some pencils on your desk so you have something to snap. Or maybe it’s not a person specifically, but just the situation that is frustrating you. Can’t land the job you’re dreaming of, can’t seem to solve this quarrel between two family members, can’t find the right medications to deal with the pain - and maybe it’s nobody’s fault, but the whole situation has you so frustrated, feeling helpless and so you’re just sort of mad at everyone, mad at noone. Just mad. We all struggle with anger at some point in our life. Some of us are like volcanoes, we keep it all in until we explode in one massive moment. Some of us keep it in, and it never explodes - but it sort of makes us sick inside. Some of us never hide any of it, and we’re just instantly angry right away. But it gets into all of us at some point. And you know what they say - nobody gets super angry and then goes out and does something they’re proud of. 

I remember, back when I was doing youth ministry in the suburbs of Chicago. I was having a lot of trouble getting volunteers for an overnight event. I had 20 kids ready to go, but I didn’t have enough chaperones to make the event safe. And so, just a few days before, I had to cancel the event. And I was so angry about it. I stewed in it all weekend. And on Monday morning I typed up the nastiest email and got ready to send it to all the parents. I wanted to make them feel bad for not stepping up and helping with the student program. I wrote stuff like, “you made a vow when these kids joined this church to help raise them in the faith and help them grow closer to Jesus - you are failing to be the Christian community you are called to be.” And I went on and on. Now praise God that I had the wisdom to send it to the lead pastors before I sent it to the parents. I sent it to them and said, “I’m going to send this to the parents, what do you think?” And at this church it was a husband and wife - co-leading the church. And the wife, her name was Greta - she had such a gift of peace. Do you know anybody like that in your life? They just have a talent for diffusing the bomb that’s about to go off in every room? Greta would walk into a room, and the temperature would just lower - everybody would cool off a little bit. And she responded, “Why don’t we meet and see if there’s a better way we could say all this?” And I met with her and we talked about it. I deleted the angry email, and then I got in front of the church that next Sunday and gave an announcement. And instead of pointing fingers and yelling, “how dare you not be there for the children?” I got up and I said, “Church - we have the greatest problem a church can have. We have too many students, and we need more adults willing to invest in the next generation.” I had three new adult volunteers by the end of the day. How many fresh volunteers do you think I would have gotten if I’d sent that email? Nobody ever gets furious and then does something they’re proud of. Most of the time we do something we regret and then we spend way more time trying to fix the thing we broke when we were angry. 

As many of you know, we’ve been in this series called The Forces That Control Us - and boy, this has been an awesome series. We have looked at all the different areas of life where our world has its hooks in us. Whether it’s blame or anxiety, money, sex or even anger - there’s a lot of forces pulling us in every direction. But every week, what we have found, is that Jesus has good news. When we feel like a puppet - pulled this way and that by the strings of the different forces in our world that try to control us - Jesus comes in with a pair of scissors and asks, “do you want to live free?” If you struggle with anger this morning, like I do, do you want to live free? Today, we are going to talk about anger, and how Jesus guides us through it into freedom.

And so if you want to grab your bibles, I’m going to be in Matthew chapter 26, starting over in verse 14. We’re going to be skimming along this whole chapter this morning - and if you’re curious, I’m using the New International Version today, it says “NIV” right there on the side. There’s lots of good translations, but that’s what we’re working with this morning. To set the stage a little bit - this is happening right before Easter. The night Jesus gets arrested his sits down to celebrate the passover with his disciples. If you don’t know - it was this Jewish festival where they celebrated how God freed their people from slavery in Egypt. But right before we get to the passover, we have this little moment. Verse 14 gets us started, [read v.14-16]. Judas, one of the 12 disciples, one of Jesus’ closest followers - has decided to betray Jesus. And it’s funny because one thing that sticks out right away is that we don’t know WHY Judas does it! There’s lots of theories - some people say he did it for the money. But apparently 30 pieces of silver isn’t actually that much money. Some people say, “maybe it was political, he was trying to get Jesus to be this violent military revolutionary or something.” But we just don’t know. And let me just draw you into this moment for a second - because this same thing happens in our lives. Sometimes with people who make us angry, we never find out “why”. This thing between Judas and Jesus - this is a mirror of our experiences. If you have ever been betrayed, lied about, stabbed in the back, promised and then ghosted and to this day, you still don’t know why - you don’t have closure, resolve or even an apology - Jesus knows exactly how you feel!

But that’s what makes it so important for us to follow along and see what Jesus does with this betrayal. And so he sends his disciples into the city, gets everything prepped for the big passover meal. Celebrating the festival of unleavened bread, and then in verse 20 [read v.20-21]. I love that it says that he was reclining as he drops this absolute truth bomb of information. This is not a “reclining at the table” type of question! And of course the disciples get all upset. [read v.22]. And can I just… can I just point out that no one says “sorry”? Or “bummer”? They just all immediately start worrying about themselves - oh no, am I going to get in trouble for this? And so they all go around one by one, Is it me? Is it me? Is it me? And then, and this is what I wanted to show you. The next thing Jesus does is down in verse 26. He drops his bomb about betrayal, and then [read v.26-28]. Now, if you’ve been a Christian for a while - you probably know those words. That’s communion. Jesus is telling them, my body will be broken and my blood will be poured out - because I love you. And what we see in this sequence is that Jesus responds to betrayal with the gospel. It’s almost like Jesus is giving them the road map for how to fix things. If you betray Jesus, do you know what the path of redemption is? Do you know how to reconcile with God? It’s going to be his body broken, his blood poured out. This is the core of Christianity right here, that Jesus died in order to erase your sin, including your betrayal.

Now you might be thinking, “my betrayal? I didn’t betray Jesus, Judas did!” But think about this - who else betrayed Jesus? Like, I know Judas gets all the credit as the great betrayer. Later in the story, he leads the guards to arrest Jesus - Judas is the chief betrayer. But who else betrays Jesus? Peter does! You probably remember that part, it’s down in verse 31. Jesus says, “you’re going to betray me, you’re going to deny me three times.” And Peter’s like, “absolutely not. I would never.” And what happens? Peter denies Jesus three times. And so does Andrew. And James. And John and Philip and Bartholomew and Thomas and Matthew and that other James and all of them! And all of us! Sin in our lives is a betrayal of God. We’re not better than Judas - and the response from Jesus is “this is my body, broken for you.” Jesus responds to betrayal with the gospel. 

How do you respond to betrayal? Or let me ask it like this, do you have a Judas in your life? Someone who has hurt you? Stabbed you in the back, but they're still in your life? What do you do with the judas at your table? They betrayed you, but they’re still there in proximity to you? Maybe you see them every time you drop your kids off for joint custody? Maybe you see their wonderful life on facebook? Maybe they ghosted you after you left the company? And you just have no good answer to “why” they did it? It’s infuriating, isn’t it? In those moments, it’s so tempted to retreat from people so you don’t get hurt again. To hide. To deny access to your life and to your heart. To just self-protect. But ask yourself, “am I getting angrier at this person, than Jesus did at Judas?” You see, betrayal is a wound - but bitterness is a choice. Jesus chose grace, offered freely.

After they finish dinner, do the whole communion thing, Jesus tells Peter he’s going to deny him three times, and then they go to the garden of Gethsemane. Maybe you’ve heard this story before - they go to the garden, and Jesus wants to pray. And after all of that, that’s when the betrayal comes in. We pick it up in verse 47, [read v.47-49]. Little weird that the signal Judas wants to use is a kiss - but here we are. And it’s funny, it sort of shows us that maybe, people who express affection for Jesus in public - are not always… his followers. Verse 50, [read v.50-51]. Yikes. We’re getting a little action now. One of his companions (probably Peter) comes up and cuts the dude’s ear off. Which, not to go down a rabbit trail here, but how bad is your aim if you’re hitting the dude’s ear with your sword? What were you swinging at, Peter? But then, [read v.52-53]. Jesus shuts down the violence. He says, “absolutely not.” He heals the servant, and says, “look, if i wanted vengeance. If I wanted to defend myself, I could call legions of angels.” And what he is showing us in this moment - and this is what I want you to see. In response to betrayal - Jesus actively avoided lashing out, and chose to pursue grace instead. Jesus put away weapons and opportunities to get vengeance in order to pour out his life for those who hated him. That is our example. That is our model. 

And can I just be totally honest? This is so crazy difficult. It is SO hard to live this way. How many of us respond to anger with grace? How many of us, in the face of betrayal - someone lies to us in a relationship, someone cheats us in a business deal, someone does something sneaky at work to get our promotion instead of us - how many of us, when confronted with betrayal, if we had legions of angel armies at our beck and call would tell them to stand down? If you have swords and your disposal, and people who are willing to swing them for you - would chose the path of grace and forgiveness? How many of you, if they strike you on one side - would turn the other cheek and let them hit you on that side too? Jesus chose grace, and that’s our model - but hear me, that’s a challenging word. A high calling.

Part of it is that we simply cannot let go of our anger. We stew in it a little bit. Did you know that it only takes about 90 seconds for an emotion to dissipate in our system? The chemicals in our bodies that get released when you are angry or sad or scared - they flood your system in about 90 seconds. And if you can get out of your head for 90 seconds, you can completely overcome that emotion. But that’s not what we do is it? We keep bringing it up in our minds. I can’t believe she said that. I can’t believe he did that. I can’t believe-how could the-argh, and I’m all mad all over again. Mentally, we rehash it, revisit it, we reopen the wound over and over - and none of that brings healing. That’s when betrayal becomes a force that controls me. Think about this - someone can do something to you, or say something to you one time, they only say it one time - but in our minds, we let their actions continue to control us and affect us because we replay it over and over and over in our minds. We give the people who hurt us SO MUCH POWER over us. Have you ever heard the phrase, “living rent free in your head”? It’s like that - when we stew in our anger, when we fester in our betrayal - we are taking what they did and giving it incredible power over our lives.

 But Jesus offers us release. Jesus offers us a better way. The path of freedom moves through forgiveness. Betrayal is a wound. And if you’re here today and you’re stuck in that wound - please hear my heart on this. I’m so sorry that the thing that happened, happened to you. I’m not diminishing the pain that is very real in your life. I’m so sorry that you have been hurt. I can’t take away what was done, but I can show you the path to freedom. Betrayal is a wound, but bitterness is a decision. Bitterness is a decision, just like forgiveness is a decision - but only one of those is going to bring you freedom and healing. 

Really this message is a tale of two disciples - Peter and Judas, both of whom betrayed Jesus in their way. And maybe you know the end of the story, but I’m going to tell it to you anyways. In the very next chapter, chapter 27, it opens like this, [read 1-5]. That’s the first path. In the face of betrayal, when he realized that he had betrayed Jesus - Judas fell into despair. Over and over in his mind he was reliving the terrible thing that he had done, and it was a cycle that he could not break free of. But then, there’s Peter’s story. Remember he denied Jesus three times. But then, in the book of John, we get this story at the very end. Jesus dies on the cross, rises three days later, and then he meets the disciples. There’s this amazing miracle with a miraculous catch of fish, and they’re sitting on the beach, the resurrected Jesus and Peter. Eating breakfast and we get this in John chapter 21, verse 15. [read v.15-17]. How many times did Peter deny Jesus? [hold up three fingers]. How many times did Jesus ask about his love? [hold up the other hand, three fingers]. That’s forgiveness. That’s healing - repeated over and over. 

In your life, what you mentally rehash has a lot of power over the way you live. We all sort of naturally stew in stuff in our minds - that’s normal. But you have a choice of what you will stew on. You can stew on how you have been wronged, and just get angry over and over again and never move on, and remain trapped. OR you can stew on how you forgive them. Like Jesus asked Peter over and over, Do you love me? Let that be the thing you bring up again and again in your mind. In your heart this week - will you rehash the fight or rehash the forgiveness? Are you going to chose the path of Judas or the path of Peter? Are you going to let anger and unforgiveness control your life? Or do you want to pursue freedom?

I have two practical applications for you this week, two challenges that I want you to put into practice. First - When you have a Judas in your life, be like Jesus. When you have someone who has done you wrong, they have betrayed you - and maybe you don’t know why, you don’t have an apology, you don’t have understanding or closure - in that moment, follow the footsteps of Jesus. And there’s sort of three parts to this. First - move towards the pain. So much of our anger and our bitterness is found when we try to run away from pain, but when we do that we actually make it last longer. Move towards the pain, move towards grace, like Jesus did when he looked Judas in the eye and said, “my body broken, my blood poured out for you.” That’s how we find closure. Second, transfer the job of justice to God. Sometimes we cannot let it go - because we never got repentance. We never got, in our eyes, justice. We never got that closure, and so we hold on to our anger. There’s an old quote, “resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” When we hold on to anger, waiting for an apology that might not be coming, we are letting their action control us long after the action is gone. But if we transfer the job of justice to God, we leave it in his hands, and we can walk free. Move towards the pain, transfer the job of justice to God, and finally - don’t underestimate God’s power to redeem all things. If he can forgive you, and all the things you have done - who knows how God can take this betrayal, take this terrible thing in your life, and turn it into beauty. Never believe that evil is the end of the story. Never believe, not even for one second, that if you hang on to your anger and your bitterness and your unforgiveness - that will somehow help God in his grand project of redeeming the world. Judgment and justice is God’s business and you holding on to your anger won’t help that. When you have a Judas, be like Jesus. On the other hand, when you ARE a Judas, be like Peter. Maybe you walked in here this morning, and you’re not mad. You’re not struggling with bitterness, you are the cause of it. Maybe you are carrying guilt and shame for the things that you have done. Maybe you are cycling your way down into despair - just like Judas, rehashing your shame bringing it up over and over. And so, if that’s you today, I want you to hear this - don’t be a Judas, when you can be a Peter. Peter still abandoned Jesus. Peter still carried shame. But he came back to Jesus, confess, repented, and received healing presence. Over and over he affirmed, I love you Jesus - wiping away his denials. In a couple of weeks, on Easter Sunday, we’re going to dedicate a new baptism tub. We’re going to have it right here in the worship service - and we’re going to pray over that tub and those who need to be transformed by the water. To go down unwashed and to rise redeemed. Forgiven by Jesus. Baptism is a moment in our journey where we declare that we are going to follow Jesus as our lord and savior. It’s this public declaration - and there may be people in your life, who need to make that declaration, who need to be in those waters. Or maybe you yourself, if you’ve never made that declaration - that I am going to follow Jesus with my life - rather than letting anger or the sins in our life get repeated in our minds, spoken over us over and over like Judas, we need to let Jesus’ healing wash over us - to find new life in the waters of Baptism. 

You see, for every single one of us - you can come to Jesus exactly as you are. And Jesus will look at our anger, our bitterness, our shame and respond: this is my body, broken for you. This is my blood, poured out for you and for many. And if you’re not familiar with that tradition, I’d love to lead you through that right now. You see, ever since that night all those years ago when Judas betrayed Jesus - when Jesus offered him grace and he ran away from it - the church has created a tradition called communion. And what we do is take this bread and we take this cup to remember the moment that Jesus said, “I love you so much that I will die for you.” Whatever shame and anger you are carrying with you today, whatever sin you’ve got living under the skin in your life - we carry it to the cross. Our sins die with Jesus Christ, so that we can rise with Christ three days later. And so during this last song - I just want to encourage you to come and take a cup, come and take the bread - and if you are carrying anger, if you are carrying bitterness or resentment, you can come to this table, where Jesus is offering you forgiveness. Let’s pray.