Forgiveness - Acts 16

As some of you already know we are on week 2 of our little three week series called Election Recovery Guide. We’re not going to talk politics in the church, I think most people are pretty exhausted from that conversation - but we ARE going to talk about – okay, what do we do now? Whether you’re on the left or the right or the people around you agree with you or strongly disagree - this season has left a lot of people hurting. I remember, years ago back in the 2020 election, I had a Trump supporter in my church who wanted to have a meeting with me. And he came in and we sat back in the sound booth of that church, and he said, “My thanksgiving table is going to be half empty this year. I’ve got friends and family who think I’m a horrible person for supporting Trump and some of the things they say - the way they talk about me and the way they treat me.. It’s awful.” And as we chatted I realized this had nothing to do with his political opinions or his preferred policies or even the election at all. His question was “how do I heal now?” And I’m not trying to make a statement about democrats or republicans, I’m not scolding anyone - and not to be a both-sides’er, but the truth is I have friends on both sides of this election who have behaved in a way that I’m embarrassed by. People who call themselves Christians who have acted un-Christlike. And more importantly, I have friends on both sides who have been hurt. Not only did they say and do nasty things, but they had nasty things said to them. And it’s not like we just forget those slanders just because the election is over. Last week we talked about humility and how that’s the first step of healing, but this week if we’re going to stay on the journey of recovery - we’ve got to talk about forgiveness. And so I want to ask you - what does forgiveness cost you?

There’s an old story about a lady named Corrie Ten Boom, she was this amazing Christian during World War II, holocaust survivor and all that. And after the defeat of Hitler’s Nazi regime, she returned to Germany to declare the forgiveness of Jesus Christ. And she spoke at an event, and after giving her message one evening, she was approached by a man who identified himself as a former Nazi guard from the concentration camp at Ravensbruck, where she had been held. The camp where her sister, Betsie, had died. When Corrie saw the man’s face she recognized him as one of the most cruel and vindictive guards from the camp. He reached out his hand and said to her, “A fine message, Fraulein! How good it is to know that, as you say, all our sins are at the bottom of the sea! You mentioned Ravensbruck in your talk. I was a guard there, but I would like to hear it from your lips as well. Fraulein, will you forgive me?” And about that moment this is what she writes, “I stood there - I whose sins had again and again been forgiven - and could not forgive. Betsie had died in that place. Could he erase her slow terrible death simply for the asking? It could have been many seconds that he stood there - hand held out - but to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I ever had to do.” Can you imagine that moment? A Nazi guard, a guard at the very camp where your sister died! At the place where you nearly died! A guard who was cruel enough that you remembered his face, and he’s putting out his hand, asking for forgiveness. What does forgiveness cost you?

Now to answer these questions - to guide us on our path of recovering from the election, we have been following along with Paul in Acts 16. We got started there last week, and we’re going to be there again today if you want to open your bibles, Acts is way in the back of the book. Now, if you weren’t here last week - let me take a second to catch you up. Paul is traveling the world, wanting to tell people about Jesus. He thought his life was going to go one way, but God had a totally different plan for him. He ends up in a town called Philippi, where instead of meeting with respected leaders and the highest of society types - he ends up meeting just one lady, a small business owner named Lydia. Even though he was probably disappointed with the direction things went, he was faithful and did what he could, with what he had, where he was. Lydia and her whole family gave their life to Jesus, and they were baptized. And then in verse 15, Lydia invites them to stay at her place while they are in Philippi. And that’s where we pick up the story in Acts 16, verse 16. [read v.16-18]. Alright, so there’s a lot going on in those verses. Apparently there’s this slave girl who can predict the future, a fortune teller and her masters are making a LOT of money off of her… abilities. But then she starts following Paul and his buddies around and she won’t shut up about how they are servants of the Most High God. And so Paul, NOT out of benevolence, not because he loved her or wanted her to flourish and live her best life - but out of ANNOYANCE, he turns around and yanks that spirit out of her. And I guess what I’m pulling from that story is that God can work even when we’re feeling super annoyed. And let every parent rejoice, let every family member and irritated co-worker celebrate when you hear this good news - the power of God is not dependent on your emotions. In fact, let me bless you with this teaching as well. I heard someone say this past week, “Emotions are a gauge to tell us where we are, not a guide to tell us where to go.” Let me pull that apart - emotions are super helpful. They are very important, they tell us where WE are at - how we are processing the world around us. But they are crappy co-pilots. You never give emotions control over the GPS - that’s not what they’re for. When we’re dealing with hard issues or annoying people - we can’t get triggered and let our emotions guide us into responding. That will never go well. And it didn’t go well for Paul. 

He heals the slave girl, who can no longer tell the future and then verse 19 [read v.19-21]. Which, pause for a moment to point out that that’s nonsense. They’re not mad because Paul and Silas are causing an uproar - they’re mad because they’re losing money. Verse 22, [read v.22-24]. Whew. So that’s a rough day for Paul and Silas. A mob forms, they’re beaten with wooden rods and then they end up in the inner dungeon. But don’t worry - we’re just getting started. [read v.25]. Think about that for a second. You got annoyed, and so you did something rash, a mob beats you half to death and you are chained to the floor in something called the “inner dungeon” (I dunno what that means, but it doesn’t sound like a five star resort) - and how do you respond this turn of events? Praying and singing hymns to God. Have you ever had that? Not the whole beaten-half-to- death-with-wooden-rods-and-thrown-into-the-inner dungeon thing - hopefully none of us have ever experienced anything like that. But have you ever had a moment where the bad gets so bad that it feels like there’s literally nothing you can do about it. Sometimes life smashes us down so hard the only thing we can do is praise. But I guess that’s what I want you to pull out of the text today. When all else fails, you can always praise. Like the song says, “praise is a weapon that silences the enemy.” Their songs, their prayers - that is a rebellion against grief, that is a triumph spoken over the crushing forces of the world. Prayer and song are not just nice things to do to pass the time - they are a method of victory. The power of God is not dependent on our emotions and when all else fails, you can always praise. 

And then this is the craziest part of the story - [read v.26-28]. They are worshiping in this prison, and then there’s a massive earthquake, everyone’s chains come loose. The prison guard wakes up, sees the door open, and he knows that escaping prisoners is punishable by death. But then Paul and Silas STAY in prison. They don’t leave! I don’t know about you guys - but if I’m in prison, and the shackles come off, I’m going to tell myself, ‘sometimes when God closes a door, he opens up my shackles” and then I’m going to NOPE right on out of there. But they don’t leave. God has put them in this tough spot, and rather than worry about their personal goals, they realize they have work to do where God has put them. And what I want you to realize is that there is a truth here that echoes through the generations right into YOUR life right here and right now. There is power in staying. There is power in staying. Even when you have been hurt. You have a chance for revenge. You have a chance to make your life easier. But there is power in staying where God plants you. And when the jailer sees them - he just crumbles. He can’t handle it, he falls down trembling at their feet. He looks at these guys and he says, “look - whatever is motivating you in life. Whatever would keep you here - I want to understand. I want to know that peace. I want to know how to be saved. I was a dead man, but because you’re here - I’m going to live. Tell me everything. It’s this moment, where an incredible act of grace - unprompted grace - breaks through the walls between former enemies.  

And so then in verse 31, [read v.31-34]. They tell him about Jesus, and he washes their wounds. He takes them back to his HOME, they don’t stay at the jail, they go and sit on his couch in his living room and he washes their wounds. And I want you to hear the echoes of this moment. Do you remember the story of when Jesus, right before the last supper, washed the disciples feet? This jailer who has practically died - he has been saved from death, and he washes their wounds. It’s this incredible moment where the jailer is this Christ like figure, serving them in this way. He washes their wounds, and they baptize him and his family. This is an incredible transformation story. And yeah, maybe there wasn’t some big movement with the respected church leaders Paul was hoping for. Paul didn’t get to crowd surf on the multitudes of believers that he has created - but you know what? There was one man who used to imprison people for a living, who now sets them free and washes their wounds. His life has been radically changed by the gospel of Jesus. There is power in staying.

Maybe in your life there are people or situations, conversations that you just walked away from. Block them on social media, cut them out of your life. I see a lot of that this past week, going both ways. If you voted for [this side], then you go ahead and unfollow me. shrug okay. [pause] And that is by far the easier route. What if I just push everyone who disagrees with me out of my life. In my work, online, in the grocery store, even in my living room. I’ll just get everyone who disagrees with me out of my life and then I’ll live in this happy little bubble. Safe from anything that might challenge me. Safe from anything that might force me grow. Like Paul and Silas - it would have been so easy to run away from that jail cell. That jailer might have been one of the men who beat them with wooden rods. They had every reason to hate him, every excuse of self preservation - to distance themself for their own comfort and safety. But they stayed. There’s this incredible moment of unprecedented grace - and it unravels the jailer, opens up the door for Jesus to walk through. Ask yourself, Is there someone in your life who needs your forgiveness? Is there someone who did you wrong - said something to you or about you to someone else? Maybe you never got actually beaten by wooden rods, but sticks and stones got nothing on the facebook comment section. Is there someone in your life who needs you to stay? While everyone else is slinging mud back and forth - do we need to have a moment of incredible grace. Where we don’t walk away. We don’t return hatred with hatred. We apologize when we have been unloving and we forgive - even when they don’t deserve it. There is power in staying.

The good news I have for you today, and this is the main thing I want you to walk out of here with is that God will set you free from your shackles. Even the ones you put on yourself. God is going to set you free. There are things in your life that are shackling you to the wall. And I want to push this WAY past the Election of 2024 - because this whole recovery effort goes into just about every single area of life. Maybe you’re struggling with anxiety or depression. Maybe you’ve got some family drama or difficulties at work. Maybe your kids or grandkids or heck, maybe it’s your parents? It’s just messy and complicated. Maybe you’re a workaholic, a slave to a busy schedule. Maybe you’ve got some medical stuff going on and you’re scared, or financial troubles have sprouted and you don’t know what’s coming next. There are things in your life that are shackling you to the wall. And the good news I want you to hear is that God is going to set you free. Like an earthquake that comes in and shakes up your life. God is going to set you free. The prison doors are open wide, the shackles are broken and you will be free. Jesus Christ the son of God is here to save you. That’s the message Paul has for everyone. For Timothy, Lydia, the prison guard, and even that poor slave girl. Jesus Christ died for your sins so that you could live free. Whatever your sin is - and it’s different in each of our lives, but we are all united in the fact that we have something. Your prison might be built out of different sins than mine, but we are serving the same life sentence. Whatever keeps you away from God, whatever your sin is, whatever burden you are carrying - Jesus conquered it with his death on the cross. You have been set free from your sins. Like Paul and Silas in the prison cell, the shackles are no longer holding you back, your sin has no hold on your life and you can walk, you can run, you can dance on out of that prison. Jesus has set you free from your sin. 

Last week we talked about how humility is the beginning of healing - but today I want to zero in on the fact that forgiveness is what unlocks your shackles. And on a really simple level - this is just monkey see, monkey do stuff. God forgives us, so we forgive others. I don’t forgive because I just love forgiving people so much. Are you kidding me? If it was up to me, I don’t want to forgive. I want to stew in it. I want to sit in my anger for a bit. I want to plot revenge. There are days where the ONLY reason I forgive is because God has already forgiven me of every single one of my sins. He knows my deepest, darkness sins, the most shameful parts of my life - and he forgave me, so I can forgive that one guy on twitter for saying something mean that one time. You’ve probably heard that line from the famous Lord’s Prayer. Forgive us our sins, (or trespasses or debts) AS we forgive those who sin against us. With this design, God is not just forgiving us of our personal sins - but with that he is giving us the formula for healing relationships in our lives. Maybe you’re thinking - yeah, but I don’t want to forgive them, they don’t deserve it. Well, did I deserve it when God forgave me? If God can offer me forgiveness in my weakness, in my shame, in the middle of my darkness. Maybe we can offer that same grace to the people in my life.

Alright, now - if you know me and my preaching, you know I love to make things super practical. I like to send you out with a challenge or a way to apply this teaching to your life. And the teaching is obvious, yes? Go and forgive as a part of the healing journey, a part of our recovery in this challenging season. Forgiveness is sort of the whole point here - but I want to go even deeper, because I think that’s a nice thing to say, but how do we actually do it? So I’ve got five steps and I’m going to use Paul and the Jailer to explain it - and I want to mention that I got these from a friend who thinks they came from a book called “Total Forgiveness” by RT Kendall, but I’m not sure about that. But I do know the story of Paul, and I thought this was brilliant and so helpful. Step 1 - Acknowledge the pain/blame. With Paul and Silas, I don’t know how they miss it. They are in jail WITH the bruises to prove it. They have been wronged. In your life - it’s the same way. You need to acknowledge the pain you are feeling. You remember what we said at the beginning about emotions? Emotions are a gauge to figure out where you are at. They are not a GPS, we are not putting emotions in the driver’s seat, I don’t care how many adorable movies they make about it. Don’t do it. Acknowledge the pain. They said a thing about me, and I brushed it off but the truth is it’s messing with my head.  Step 2 of forgiveness - identify with their humanity. Remember that the person who hurt you is a person. With Paul and Silas, I  love that he takes them back to his home at the end. Like, imagine this - while the jailer was tending their wounds, maybe his kids were there watching. They’re supposed to be in bed, but they’re peeking around the corner because dad came home all excited saying he’s going to follow Jesus now, and they want to see, what does this new thing, what does following Jesus look like. They are not a fascist or a racist, a snowflake or a lib-tard. They are a person. And the same God that made you, made them too. Acknowledge their humanity. Step 3 - refuse to take revenge. This is such a hard part of forgiveness. In the world of Paul and Silas, letting a prisoner escape was a death sentence. ANd we know that [whisper voice] because it happened back in chapter 12. Paul got out of prison and King Agrippa killed that guard. Killed him dead. Taking revenge would have been SO easy. All they had to do was leave. But there is power when you stay - and they refused to take revenge. 

And that leads us to the hardest part of forgiveness. Step 4- willingly endure the pain. I think a lot of people look at forgiveness like a transaction. You say sorry, I grace you with my forgiveness. You come over to my house and you break my TV. You say, “I’m so sorry, I’ll buy you a new one.” I forgive you, because I just got a new TV. That’s not the same as the forgiveness we get from God. We break God’s TV with our sin, we can never afford to replace it. If you see forgiveness like a transaction you are going to spend the rest of your life trying to earn God’s forgiveness - and you will fail. If you think that’s how healing happens, you will exhaust yourself trying to reach something that was never going to be enough. You come over to my house and break my TV, and you say, “I’m so sorry” and I respond, “That’s okay, I forgive you. I will get a new TV.” I will absorb the cost on myself. I will willingly endure the pain of this forgiveness. I will take the cost. Because that’s what Jesus does for us. He takes our sin. He takes the penalty, the cost and he puts it on himself. Because he loves me. Because he loves you. Your job is not to earn forgiveness, your job is to live forgiven. And in the same way, we cannot find healing in our relationships by demanding transactional forgiveness from the people who hurt us. Acknowledge the pain, identify with their humanity, refuse to take revenge and willingly endure the pain. And the last step - step 5 - extend blessing to your offender. Paul and Silas, they could have gotten revenge, they could have demanded a transactional forgiveness, they could have cursed the man who beat them and put them in jail. But they didn’t. They forgave, and they blessed him and they welcomed him as a brother in Christ.

I truly believe that there is no teaching more known and less followed in Christianity other than forgiveness. With the life, death and resurrection of Jesus God has given us a model of how to forgive - how to release bitterness, heal relationships and live together in a more harmonious society - and so many of us throw it away because it’s hard. I wonder - are there people in your life who need your forgiveness? Are they living rent free in your head? Are you letting someone else’s actions become YOUR shackles? Or maybe it’s flipped around - and you need to ask for forgiveness. Are there bridges you have burned, things you have done, whole groups of people you have written off? I can basically guarantee that every person in this room fits into one or the other category. Maybe you have been hurt, maybe you have done some hurting - probably both. So let me ask the hard question - are you ready to let forgiveness get into your life? It’s so hard. And sometimes it can take a really long time - but it is some of the greatest work worth doing. Let forgiveness be the next step in your recovery. 

I think about Corrie Ten Boom - who gave a speech about forgiveness and had one of her Nazi tormentors come up to her afterwards and ask for forgiveness. He stands in front of her plain as day, holds out his hand and says, ‘Will you forgive me” And for a moment she stands there frozen. Torn between what her heart wants to do and her God has taught her to do. She writes, “It could have been many seconds that he stood there - hand held out -but to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I ever had to do… I had to do it - I knew that. The message that God forgives has a prior condition: that we forgive those who have injured us. But forgiveness is not an emotion - I knew that too. Forgiveness is an act of the will and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. “Jesus, help me!” I prayed silently. And as she reached out her hand to the former guard, Corrie says that something incredible took place. She writes, “A current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.” I forgive you, brother” I cried. “With all my heart!” I had never known love so intensely, as I did then. But even then, I realized it was not my love. It was the power of the Holy Spirit.” Let’s pray.